Bush: “I Thought Hurricane Ike Was A Pro Wrestler”
In what he is calling his ”biggest letdown of the year,” President Bush learned Wednesday that Hurricane Ike was indeed a powerful Atlantic storm system, not the name of a professional wrestler.
Staffers say the president was visibly saddened by the realization, which they described as “similar to that of a child who learns the sad truth about Santa Claus or the Electoral College System.”
“He was so excited the entire week leading up to it,” one staffer said. “I don’t know how he managed to confuse the most destructive hurricane of the year for a wrestler, but none of us had the heart to tell him the truth.”
Anxious for “the main event in Galveston,” Bush had gone so far as to create handmade posters that said “Hurricane Ike takes no prisoners,” “Ike fears no man” and “Ike see, said the blind man.” The last of which he made all by himself.
Though his staff tried subtle hints, Bush remained steadfast until he saw the destruction first hand. Even then, his first words upon seeing the wreckage were, “Boy, that Hurricane Ike kid is one bad mo-fo, ain’t no body gonna mess with him. Look at all the ruckus he caused here.”
As he came to terms with the truth, Bush vowed to create “less confusing” hurricane terminology.
“The American people demand better,” he said in a press conference. “I, like so many other Americans, thought ‘surging ocean’ was the name of a submission hold.”
Afterwords Bush pitched “Ike see, said the blind man” as “The coolest motto ever” to McCain’s election staff.
I like Bush’s slogan “Ike see, said the blind man”, better than what he came up with the first time: “Ike an kick yer ass.”